May 2013
4 tags
May 24th
23,344 notes
1 tag
shuckl: shuckl: shuckl: toast annoys me so much cos like it’s bread that’s been toasted so we call it “toast” but if you fry a potato it’s not called a “fry” fries do you ever look back at your mistakes
May 24th
115,939 notes
1 tag
May 24th
11,322 notes
2 tags
May 24th
4,206 notes
1 tag
im-a-scottaholic: im-a-scottaholic: did you hear about the dyslexic satanist he sold his soul to santa guys come on this is quality stuff
May 24th
1,911 notes
1 tag
May 24th
10,193 notes
1 tag
phone: rings
me: no
May 24th
44,221 notes
2 tags
May 24th
9,081 notes
1 tag
May 24th
58,786 notes
3 tags
May 24th
51 notes
2 tags
May 24th
2,443 notes
2 tags
May 24th
69,230 notes
1 tag
twiistz: i met a girl with 12 nipples sounds funny dozen tit
May 24th
53,771 notes
1 tag
skittlesndrpepper: craigmothertucker: so my 16 year old brother made himself a balloon son and kept a photo album of their day together here it is Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you my boyfriend and his outstanding level of maturity.
May 24th
36,298 notes
2 tags
jebbmeh: partevia: sometimes i have like really deep thoughts like the internet is fucking incredible man i can go on google and see like 10,000 dicks in an hour and like imagine back before the internet even, you couldn’t see that many dicks in a life time. I’ve seen more dicks this week than any Babylonian prostitute did in her entire life. Amazing.
May 24th
82,392 notes
2 tags
May 24th
44,039 notes
2 tags
Me: Do you have any Australian in you?
Girl at club: None at all.
Me: Do you want some?
May 24th
96 notes
2 tags
May 24th
29,535 notes
1 tag
murkurlur: augustuswtrs: artistic-therapist: augustuswtrs: people who call vaginas ‘vajayjay’ you think you got problems my sister calls them ‘vajigglyjags’ vadidgeridoos
May 24th
45,305 notes
1 tag
May 24th
40,548 notes
3 tags
May 24th
1,393 notes
1 tag
positivemilk: But mom how am I suppose to buy drugs with a gift card
May 24th
145,147 notes
2 tags
May 24th
32,043 notes
4 tags
May 24th
1,823 notes
1 tag
May 24th
47,152 notes
5 tags
An E-Flat, a G-Flat and a B-Flat walk into a bar
Bartender: I'm sorry we don't serve minors
May 24th
53 notes
1 tag
pizza: graffeti: i wonder what its like to be so hot that everyone gets nervous talking to you ohhh so that’s why no one ever talks to me!
May 24th
251,827 notes
1 tag
May 24th
19,118 notes
8 tags
May 24th
62 notes
3 tags
May 24th
5,075 notes
2 tags
rodneykong: ghostgif: 98% of divorces are caused by Mario Party  yes your honor, this marriage can no longer work out after the trauma I suffered from my wife stealing not one, but TWO of my stars
May 24th
27,881 notes
4 tags
May 24th
67 notes
1 tag
me: oh i look nice in this picture
me: i'm gonna use it as profile picture on all my social network accounts for the next 54 years
May 24th
99,307 notes
2 tags
May 24th
8,384 notes
3 tags
May 24th
30,821 notes
1 tag
may-or-may-not-contain-nuts: stolenpandorica: elisetheawesome: kyoukokiriqiri: why do we call periods “periods” when we can call them something cooler like “bloodstain fever” or ”the crimson horror” are u guys okay “shark week”
May 24th
31,485 notes
2 tags
May 24th
100 notes
3 tags
May 24th
5,316 notes
2 tags
rabioheab: i do not like green eggs and ham will.i.am
May 24th
2,136 notes
3 tags
May 23rd
44 notes
3 tags
May 23rd
9,073 notes
1 tag
partybarackisinthehousetonight: i can’t have a soul mate because i have no soul
May 23rd
96,577 notes
1 tag
jadedgalvanizer: timelordsatan: ambular-d: pumpkinlessidjit: i want there to be an angel that descends from the heavens only when someone is being stupid and the angel just gently places their hand over the person’s mouth and whispers in a voice filled with heavenly beauty and love “no” ANABIEL LOOK IT UP
May 23rd
73,525 notes
2 tags
baby-scars: yahoo is going to delete every blog that doesn’t reblog my selfies sorry i don’t make the rules
May 23rd
31,946 notes
3 tags
May 23rd
88,191 notes
1 tag
May 23rd
67,634 notes
1 tag
homosexaul: being ugly on the internet is nice because you know you’ve earned all your followers instead of getting them b/c youre hot 
May 23rd
58,170 notes
1 tag
lvysaur: youhavetooletgo: lvysaur: x is my least favorite letter now because of math Y? i swear to fucking god
May 23rd
28,269 notes
2 tags
May 23rd
21,188 notes
1 tag
Tumblr app: I'm done loading
Me: but what about all these blank pictures and gifs
Tumblr app: did I fucking stutter
May 23rd
99,389 notes